Monday, September 22, 1997 Students share roommate horror
stories RESIDENCE: From fish under the bed to sleeping problems,
there’s an annoying habit for everyone
By Michelle Navarro
Daily Bruin Contributor
According to Jana Gersten, she has the ultimate roommate horror
story. Her roommate tried to run her over with her car, Gersten
says. In one of their feuds, Gersten holds that her roommate hurled
a phone at her. When Gersten planned on moving into her sorority
house, her roommate allegedly phoned the president and falsely
informed her that Gersten had faked a pregnancy "for attention."
After numerous incidents of harassment, a sorority restraining
order was allegedly placed on Gersten’s roommate.
Gersten moved out after the first quarter.
The notion of dueling roommates is anything but foreign to
college students, especially freshmen. The first year of college
yields new hurdles, one of them being sharing a room with a
complete stranger.
Everything from sleep and phone calls to morning breath and
studying will be witnessed by the one and only roomie. It can be a
blessing or it can be your worst nightmare.
Just take the roommate stories posted on the World Wide Web.
"Andrew had a roommate with some rather kinky habits," one tale
begins. "There was the usual not-doing-the-dishes, eating all the
food, and whatnot, but these were minor infractions compared to
other things. For example, one night, this roommate brought a girl
home, which was fine. They sat on the couch for a while until
someone else knocked on the door. It was another girl for Andrew’s
roommate. The three of them went into this guy’s room and made loud
strange noises until about three in the morning.
One time, when the roommate went home for the weekend, Andrew
was just chilling out and watching videos. Andrew was looking for
something else to watch and popped in this unmarked video. It
turned out to be a recording of his roommate and the two girls.
No, this isn’t the plot to the next pornographic movie – but it
is actually just one of the many eyebrow-raising roommate horror
stories, posted on a web page.
Titled "Attack of the Roommate from Hell!" the web page belongs
to Danielle Gaither, a fourth-year music student at Texas Lutheran
University.
The page of survival stories that greets guests with Edvard
Munch’s "The Scream" was created by Gaither after experiencing
roommate problems of her own. In talking with friends, she learned
she wasn’t alone. So she posted the stories on the web.
"I realized lots of people went through the same problems I
did," she said, "Knowing that others go through what you go through
can be very therapeutic."
In the dorms, the bulk of the problems come from students living
in triples.
"When more people live together, there’s a bigger mix of race
and sexual orientations. It’s more likely that there will be
problems," said Randolph Menefee, resident director of Sproul Hall.
"Plus, there’s always the two-versus-one situation."
According to Menefee, the majority of conflicts are over hours –
late sleepers verses early risers. Few cases actually deal with
differences in race and sexual orientation.
But since the tales of suffering are much more common, UCLA’s
incoming freshman rightfully have concerns regarding the rapidly
approaching move-in day.
"I’m just worried that he’ll be totally different and I won’t
like him at all," said Steve Wallace, an incoming first-year math
student from the Bay Area. "I want someone who will respect my
stuff. If he doesn’t I’ll talk to him about it. Lay it down – if
you respect my space, I’ll respect your space."
Others are prepared to handle living with someone very different
from themselves, but are concerned about the sanity of the person
in the next extra-long twin bed.
"I’m not worried about differences. What I’m worried about is
having some kind of freak," said Sarah Perry, an incoming
first-year student from Phoenix, Arizona. "My cousin had a roommate
who stored dried fish in gunny sacks under her bed. Her family
would visit and bring gunny sacks of dried fish. The room smelled
bad."
During freshman orientation, counselors offer advice to budding
Bruins, so that they may be able to deal with future roommate
woes.
"You just have to keep the lines of communication open. If you
talk about problems, hopefully you’ll solve them before they get
bigger," said Scott Bishoff, an orientation counselor.
However, some students find confrontation intimidating and
unpleasant – so another solution is needed.
"If the problem is more serious, or one doesn’t feel comfortable
confronting the roommate, one should probably talk to the RA,"
Gaither said.
The RA’s are trained to mediate and help students cooperate with
each other. However, Menefee said, there is a small number who
require help beyond what the RA can offer.
"Less than 25 percent of the students I see come for roommate
problems. A lot are handled by the RAs or the roommates themselves.
People know that’s why the RAs are there," Menefee said.
If a case is referred to the resident director, they again try
to work things out, sometimes with the assistance of the UCLA
Conflict Prevention and Mediation Program. For those who really
need it, Menefee said there is little possibility of being able to
move out this year.
"There’s an extreme housing crunch, so we don’t have a lot of
leeway there. (Moving out) is a last resort. I wouldn’t count on
that," he said.
The university does try to prevent roommate strife by matching
students on the basis of drinking habits, sleeping habits and the
like. But as Menefee put it, there are "no guarantees."
Other ways to keep conflict from arising, are to fill out the
"roommate contract," available during first week, or to utilize the
roommate phone numbers that are given out in the summer. "You
should talk to them before you move in," Bishoff said.
If all else fails, a desperate soul can always turn to one of
several web pages on the Internet – designed for the abused
roommate to find comfort and vent with others in similar
situations. One page offers "516 Ways To Annoy Your Roommate.
"Talk back to your ‘Rice Krispies,’" reads No. 199. "All of a
sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it.
Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them
suffer."