Michael Rosen-Molina  Michael is
the on campus A&E Editor for 2000-01. When isn’t busy
making up lore and legends, he hides in the tunnels under Royce
Quad. You can attempt to contact him at [email protected].
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This campus is a strange place. When I first came to UCLA, the
orientation staff told me wonderful stories. The campus teemed with
urban legends, student lore and bizarre anecdotes. It seemed a
strange and exciting world.
It was a sweltering August day when I arrived, grimy with the
smog residue of Los Angeles. A stranger in a strange land, I could
only gaze in awe at the glittering edifice before me. As the
earnest tour guide beckoned us forward into the Campus of
Mysteries, my dumbfounded companion freshmen and I marveled at the
myriad wonders of this strange institution.
The top floors of the Young Research Library, the guide assured
me with quiet sincerity, were the site of frequent amorous
interludes for students who despaired of ever finding the necessary
privacy in their dorm rooms. The eccentric architect of Janss Steps
enjoyed his final creation so much that he asked to be buried
beneath them. No one who repeated this legend, in fearful, hushed
whispers, knew for certain which step of the staircase contained
the mortal remains of the departed visionary, so we avoided them
all just to be safe.
Then we ate lunch in LuValle Commons. I had a turkey sandwich,
but that’s another story altogether.
I look back on that innocent time, and see where I stand now; no
longer a starry-eyed freshman, but an ancient and grizzled senior,
hardened by the passage of years and the tortures of education.
My writer’s instinct allows me to instantly discern truth
from fiction. After orientation, rumors circulated that the
freshmen had been misled by the orientation counselors and staff.
UCLA’s treasured history was little more than a package of
myths imagined by bored upperclassmen to deceive the incoming crop
of freshmen.
Being the weathered Bruin that I am, I am now the perfect person
to put the rumors to rest. And after three years on campus, I can
say with absolute authority that the rumors are wrong: The legends
are all true. Every word.
The founder of the Young Research Library did have a vaguely
obscene name. There really is a labyrinthine system of steam
tunnels beneath Royce Quad, centered around the all-too-innocent
looking flagpole.
Franz Hall is supposed to resemble a toilet. That rubenesque
statue in the sculpture garden really is Ursa.
A construction crew dropped Bunche onto its trademark stilts
using a massive crane. They did move it because the reflections
from its tinted windows distracted drivers on the nearby freeway,
causing no end of spills and collisions.
The confused student will, no doubt, wonder who to believe,
whether the word of a handful of gung-ho orientation staffers that
swear to the truth of the legends count against the legions of
jaded classmates who dismiss UCLA lore offhand.
As the on campus arts editor at the Bruin, I cannot confirm or
debunk these myths. I can, however, provide you with other valuable
information about the microcosm of UCLA.
The plethora of diverse clubs is evident from a simple stroll
down Bruin Walk, where numerous clubs and organizations present
themselves for the approval of the finicky student. From charities
and culture clubs and religious groups to science fiction forums;
from UCLAradio.com to Campus TV, opportunities abound.
Concerts and recitals grace the Royce Hall stage, featuring some
of the biggest names in show business, while our own student plays
appear on stage and screen, at Macgowan and Melnitz respectively.
Economically priced films, courtesy of the Campus Events
Commission, liven up any Friday night, and a trip into Westwood is
always a treat!
On campus, in Westwood and through UCLA affiliated programs,
there is always something exciting happening.
Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that, silent and
brooding, the lore and legends of UCLA still lurk under the
surface.
Trust me.