Illustration by RODERICK ROXAS/Daily Bruin
By William D. Braxdale
Daily Bruin Contributor
Men are notorious for refusing to ask directions when they get
lost. Part of the problem is the way men have been socialized to
not ask for help. But this may be changing, according to Tina
Oakland, director of the Center for Women and Men.
“Every generation of men seems a little bit more open to
the idea of reaching out for help,” she said.
In the past, media and popular culture have often helped
perpetuate the idea that women desire men who have the “bad
boy” image and who keep their feelings inside.
But today, according to Oakland, most women would rather have
men who can communicate. As a result, television and other forms of
media have started responding.
For example, in the HBO show “The Sopranos,” the
main character is a mob boss who is getting therapy.
The Center for Women and Men, formerly the Women’s
Resource Center, has been open since 1972 and serves to overcome
gender-based road blocks that prevent students from reaching their
goals, according to Oakland. But, she said, because many men felt
intimidated by the name, they rarely took advantage of services
readily available to them, so the center changed its name last
summer.
“We really wanted to have a name that encourages both
women and men to come in and get services,” Oakland said.
Only 5 to 10 percent of the people they saw before the name
change were men, while the rate has changed to 25 percent men in
recent estimations, Oakland said.
Another reason for the change in men’s attitudes toward
asking for help may be because of the difference in the family
structure.
“This generation of men have been raised by the first
generation of women who have been expected to work outside of the
home,” Oakland said.
She also said the image of the “Ozzie and Harriet”
family, where dad works and mom stays home and takes care of
children, has become a small part of the population. Seeing women
like their mothers in the work force has created a different view
of female gender roles for these younger males.
The center has helped men deal with issues like anger management
and hyper-masculine behavior which causes men to get into fights,
batter their partners or act violently in dating.
“We’ve had men that come in and say that
“˜I’ve got a problem and I know it and I need to talk to
someone,'” Oakland said.
Additionally, men have gone to the center because of being
sexually harassed and in some cases, sexually assaulted, she
said.
These issues concerning men may have an effect on their physical
health, which may be made worse by the fact that men are less
likely to seek medical attention.
A study conducted in 1998 showed that men comprised of 38
percent of the visits to the Arthur Ashe Student Health and
Wellness Center, yet they make up 48 percent of the student
population, according to Dr. Dennis Kelly, physician at the UCLA
Men’s Health Clinic.
“Men tend to deny their vulnerability,” Kelly said.
He added that society has taught men that they cannot be vulnerable
or weak and they are supposed to take care of others.
At the center, some other issues that concern men include
substance abuse, career questions, stress management, communication
and body image — all which affect their health and well-being.
A desire to increase communication with their partners,
according to Oakland, has also prompted men to come in.
“There are men that come in with issues that the women in
their life are unwilling or unable to address,” Oakland
said.
The issues of honesty and sensitivity have also concerned men
coming in. Oakland said that some men have had this problem when
they have gone on a date with a woman they didn’t intend on
dating again.
She said that the men have told her that at the end of the date
they would say “I’ll call you” even though they
knew that when the words were coming out of their mouth that they
weren’t actually intending on calling.
Tim Nasr, a second-year English student, said men in his family
have avoided asking for help.
“I think in general in my family the men would not go to
the doctor,” Nasr said. “I think it has to do with the
male pride factor.”
He also said he thinks men will only go to the doctor if they
are in a lot of pain and it interferes with functioning properly in
daily life.
“If (pain) is just a nuisance, guys will go, “˜this
is a great opportunity to show how tough I am,'” Nasr
said.
It is important to recognize that men have unique health risks
that are due to biological and behavioral causes. UCLA is one of
the first institutions to recognize this by opening the men’s
clinic 18 years ago , Kelly said.
But there are still a lot of schools that do not offer these
kinds of services to men. Kelly estimated that only 10 percent of
the college campuses have a men’s clinic.
He added that no formal training is offered in men’s
health, though a new movement has begun to identify the fact that
men, just like women, have special needs.
In the area of general health, men have increased rates of
smoking, drinking and violent behavior. They are more likely to own
a weapon, less likely to use a seat belt/helmet, they have worse
diets and engage in high risk sexual behavior.
And the men who do see a doctor, however, may not be getting the
maximum benefit, according to Kelly.
“Even when they go to the doctor, men tend to pay
attention less often to the directions the clinician gives
them,” he said.
In some situations, men do not always tell the doctor about an
issue of health that concerns them.
In one primary care setting 97 percent of the men had a sexual
concern but only 19 percent brought it to the attention of the
doctor, according to Kelly.
Men often feel uncomfortable talking to the doctor and they have
the expectation that their doctor will bring up the subject that is
on their mind. Kelly said that the problem comes because the
clinician will assume that the patient will bring up the issue, and
important health issues are missed as a result.
Kelly has worked to maneuver around these barriers. During
visits with patients, he prefaces questions with statements as to
why he is asking the questions to put them at ease.
He said he wants to dispel the notion that male doctors
can’t be understanding and that a man can’t be
vulnerable with another man.
Kelly said it’s not uncommon to see one of his male
patients break down and cry.
“That’s another thing that I see — men
crying,” Kelly said. “If anything makes a person cry,
it’s this kind of stuff.”