Columbia Tristar Olivia Williams and
Antonio Banderas star in "The Body."
“The Body” Starring Antonio Banderas and
Olivia Williams Directed by Jonas McCord
The movie begins with the sudden archaeological find of the
possible body of Christ, and ends with a shootout, all the while
dragging the viewer through 100 minutes of suspenseless drivel.
“The Body” tediously explores the ramifications of
Christ’s unrisen body being discovered in modern day
Jerusalem. The film works on two levels: on a large scale of how
the discovery would affect mankind socially, politically and
religiously, and on a personal level of inner conflict as men
wrestle with their strongest belief ““ faith in God. Israeli
archaeologist Sharon Golban (Olivia Williams) discovers a tomb in
Jerusalem with the remains of a body that could be the son of God.
Jesuit priest Matt Gutierrez (Antonio Banderas) is sent from the
Vatican to investigate the findings. As the characters point out,
if the body is really Jesus Christ, it would destroy Christianity
and bring war to the Middle East. Banderas does a convincing job as
a priest who puts science before his faith in God but is still
tortured by the conflict of interests. His character, however,
needs more concrete substance underneath his brooding flesh.
Williams’s Jewish archaeologist doesn’t have a conflict
with faith; her’s is with the outside forces of the Church,
politicians and extremists trying to decide the body’s fate
without her. And of course, when a suave Spanish man (religious or
not) like Banderas, is mixed up with a widowed woman like Williams,
and they are forced to work together in hot, dusty proximity,
there’s gonna be a lot of confessing come Sunday. As Golban
runs from burial site to museum to analysis lab trying to convince
Gutierrez that the body is the real deal, the audience can’t
help notice that she is a fairly one-dimensional character.
There’s no real passion in her motions. Other figures also
come in and out of the plot, trying to confirm the body’s
origins, steal it or destroy it outright. Father Lavelle (Sir Derek
Jacobi) is a die-hard priest whose faith makes him blind to science
and who cannot reconcile Golban and Gutierrez’s findings. His
role in the movie seems only to be a foil to Gutierrez,
demonstrating how two religious figures can handle the situation
very differently. The Vatican’s Cardinal Pesci (John Wood)
and bureaucrat Moshe Cohen (John Shrapnel) each have a stake in the
body ““ Pesci because it would destroy the Vatican and his
rulership, Cohen because it would let him rise politically in
Israel. The film’s cinematography draws the audience into
sweeping scenes of desert dunes, ancient cities, aged churches,
massive cathedrals and bustling streets or marketplaces in modern
Jerusalem. Surprisingly though, amid all the grand scenery, the
film barely stirs the audience to think about the grand scheme of
the body itself and the “what if” questions it brings
up. It concentrates too much on boring and tedious close-up shots
of Banderas and Williams arguing back and forth and ineffectual
side stories of the other characters’ agendas. Far from being
a thriller, “The Body” could really be presented as a
30 minute TV special and achieve the same effect. Skip this one and
head to a livelier discussion on faith any given Sunday. For
free.
Chris Young Rating: 3
“Joe Dirt” Starring David Spade, Brittany
Daniel Directed by Dennie Gordon
Stop rearranging the lawn gnomes, cancel the Tupperware party
and turn down the eight-track player: “Joe Dirt” has
arrived. “Joe Dirt” is the face behind the mullet,
providing a poster child for anyone with white-trash blood
barreling like a double-wide trailer through their veins. Director
Dennie Gordon, (“Sports Night,” “Dawson’s
Creek,” “The Practice,” “Party of
Five,”) makes his movie debut with this film about Joe Dirt,
a “po’ boy” pushing a mop at the KXLA radio
station in Los Angeles. Dirt (Spade) is dragged into the studio one
day to appear on a morning show hosted by Zander Kelly (Dennis
Miller). There, Joe Dirt tells his life story. The tale’s
hero, like Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz” ““ but
with acid washed jeans and a concert T-shirt ““ makes a
countless number of crazy friends throughout the course of his
adventures. One of Dirt’s friends is Clem, performed by
Christopher Walken, who provides a surprising performance as an
ex-mafioso turned janitor. In the meantime, Joe is as mixed-up as a
basket of puppies on a ferris wheel, wondering if Brandi (Brittany
Daniels) loves him. Radio listeners all over L.A. are also
wondering if Joe will ever realize that Brandi loves him. Joe also
has his radio audience on the edge of their seats about whether he
will ever find the parents who left him so many years ago.
Screenwriters David Spade, Fred Wolf and Matt Piedmont, all
Saturday Night Live alumni, manage not to overdo the gross-out
humor, allowing viewers to keep the possum stew down. The sound
track is superb with songs from Lynrd Skynard, the Doobie Brothers
and Cheap Trick. The character of Joe Dirt is likeable, just a
simple good ol’ boy with a heart of gold, but belly laugh
jokes are as few and far between as “yo’
kinfolk’s teeth”. Still, Joe’s mottoes, including
“life is a garden, dig it,” make you feel as warm and
fuzzy inside as if you’d just taken a nip of Jack
Daniel’s. Bring some vittles and the hour and a half will fly
by, just don’t be expecting the answer to life’s deeper
questions or too many big laughs. In short,the film is real and
fun, but ya can’t say it was real fun. That’s a big
10-4.
Darcy Lewis Rating: 6