Jeff Agase [email protected]
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If you’re hoping the UCLA football team finally ends a
season with a win over USC, forget about it. There’s simply
no chance ““ and that’s even if the Bruins score more
points than the Trojans this Nov. 23 at the Rose Bowl.
Confused? Yeah, well so was I when I learned Thursday that the
athletic directors of the Pac-10 voted to allow UCLA and Washington
State to move their Nov. 16 game at the Rose Bowl to ““ get
this ““ Dec. 7.
The move was done for “television purposes,” which
in the sports landscape of 2002 roughly translates to “heaps
of money.” Not surprisingly, UCLA and WSU are expected to
receive over $350,000 each to nix playing their respective rivalry
games to end their seasons.
Now I’m sure the wad of cash will be put toward something
useful, like an on-campus football stadium or saving BruinGo!, but
then again, I was sure Thursday morning that whenever possible, the
Bruins always finished up the season against the detested
Trojans.
Of course, UCLA rescheduled its game against Arizona State last
season, turning it into a Dec. 1 season finale in the wake of the
Sept. 11 attacks. The move was done very appropriately out of
respect, but after a loss at USC in the 10th game of the season, it
became a lame-duck contest that a mere 45,271 came to watch.
Then there was the 1998 debacle in December that saw the 10-0
Bruins lose their chance at a national championship with a
demoralizing 49-45 defeat to Miami. The only other time in the last
30 years that UCLA did not meet USC in its final regular season
game was a forgettable 1980 drubbing of Oregon State in Tokyo.
But hey, we’re talking about $350,000 here! Maybe that
way, we could actually afford to send our team to a bowl game, be
it Humanitarian, Silicon Valley or whatever name they manage to
cook up.
Something tells me that amount of money won’t change
anything, though. It’s not like the Athletic Department is
going to start a “Reach Under Your Seat at the Rose Bowl and
Grab Five Dollars Taped to the Bottom for Free” promotion, or
pay off Urkel and the Olsen twins so that we can have their seats
at basketball games.
Granted, we could always be like (deity help us) USC.
Every other year, the boys across town finish their season with
a home game against Notre Dame, which makes for a convenient excuse
in the years the Trojans can’t beat UCLA. “We have two
rivals,” the USC faithful say, and depending on who they
beat, that one becomes ““ you guessed it ““ their
“real” rival.
So maybe it’s not as important at USC. But we poor Bruins
have only one natural rival, and a 1-10 season with a win over USC
to end the year can be more gratifying than a 10-1 campaign with a
sole loss to the Trojans.
The whole point of college football’s rivalry weekend is
that the final tally is tattooed on both teams for the better part
of a year. The winner can show it off and boast about it like a war
injury, while the loser is forced to hide it with the kind of shame
normally associated with a foot bunion.
But instead of tradition, we’ll get a home game against
USC, the final chance for the Class of 2003 to see the Blue and
Gold ring the Victory Bell, wait two weeks and then go back to the
Rose Bowl in DECEMBER to watch a game that might have little
meaning.
Don’t get too excited.
It’s all going to feel like a beer commercial, and not
because UCLA students will have to knock back several brewskies to
get even marginally interested in WSU.
Imagine your standard beer ad, where the first 20 seconds build
up to a hilarious punchline. The punchline is the USC game ““
it’s the reason to watch. Then there’s always the logo
shot and that annoying second joke that’s never as funny and
totally ruins the mood.
As you might expect, that wet blanket of a quasi-joke is the
Dec. 7 WSU game.
But who knows? The game could end up deciding the Pac-10
champion (don’t laugh, it could). As the Athletic Department
says, “UCLA, Washington State and Pac-10 football will all
benefit from the national exposure by playing on Dec. 7.”
Just one problem, guys. Oregon and Oregon State moved their
“Civil War” to Dec. 1, in anticipation of it being the
game that would crown the conference champion. The reality: OSU
rolled in with a sparkling 5-5 record, and although the Beavers put
up a good fight, the game didn’t come close to matching its
advanced billing.
UCLA-WSU could go down in the annals as a classic, but more
people will probably remember 2002 as the year UCLA didn’t
finish the season against USC than as the season the Bruins played
in December on national TV as part of a tripleheader against some
Pac-10 team.
I had already lost hope for the sanctity of sport when the
Marlins won the World Series, so this is just another
below-the-belt jab.
Excuse me for my ranting. I need to go now anyway. I’ve
got a midterm at 3 p.m. that I’d like to reschedule for
“studying purposes.”
Professor Liu, the $350,000 is payable in cash or personal
check.