“Star Wars Trilogy in 30 Minutes” Coronet
Theatre Through Feb. 1 (310) 657-7377
Not everything from USC is terrible. The concise play
“Star Wars Trilogy in 30 Minutes,” put on by the
Festival Theatre USC-USA group, is not terrible at all. It’s
simply disappointingly mediocre and uninspired. Not bad for a
school with a mascot named after the losing camp of a war started
because of a couple of the original spoiled rich kids. Like the
title suggests, this exercise in brevity is a 30 minute conflated
version of “Star Wars” episodes four, five and six.
(Remember, the ones before George Lucas introduced Jar Jar Binks.)
While I wasn’t wearing a watch, I’m pretty sure they
came close to hitting their desired mark of quickness (not always a
mark of success or virility, I hear, but they’ve got
interesting ideas east of Beverly Hills, I guess). The acting is
not bad. James Snyder as Luke Skywalker and Mark Kelly as Han Solo
were both actually quite charming in their roles. Maia Peters as
Princess Leia was slightly annoying, and while Steve Josephson
mastered the voices of C-3P0 and Yoda, his total tally of two
facial expressions was frustrating. The rest of the cast was not
memorable. The biggest problem with this play is it’s not
funny and apparently it’s supposed to be. The jokes (there
are only two) are a) this is “Star Wars” really really
fast and b) the props are really low rent. X-Wings are chairs put
over cast members’ heads and shoulders and carried around,
and Jabba the Hut is not someone in a costume but a fat guy in his
underwear. Neither joke works. The potential hilarity in the fact
that it’s so fast is negated by the straight-ahead way
it’s written and performed. The actors take their cues from
their movie counterparts and instead of adding any original lines
or arranging the existing lines in a comic order, the play culls
directly from the movies, resulting in a bland re-hashing of the
classic films. And sadly, despite the Trojan idea that anything
made cheaply is funny, it isn’t. This “play” ($15
for 30 minutes, USC accounting at work) is a waste of time, which
is a big step up from terrible and regrettable. Go Trojans!
-Anthony Bromberg
“Call Us Crazy: The Anne Heche Monologues”
Hudson Avenue Theatre Through Feb. 22 (323)
856-4200
With a zeal matched in size only by the ego of her subject,
writer/director Pamela Ribon has transformed Anne Heche’s
autobiography into an evening of unapologetic hilarity. The
performance, billed as an adaptation of readings from Heche’s
“Call Me Crazy,” is more an all-out assault on the
bizarre and often inept observations of one of Hollywood’s
nuttier actresses. There are readings, to be sure, but there are
also dramatic reenactments and ambitious musical numbers. Cynthia
Szigeti’s performance of the table of contents alone is
worthy of genuine laughter. This virtual cabaret of comedy would of
course not work at all if it were not for the shockingly rich
source material. Heche recounts the more memorable moments of her
life ““ from kissing the most popular guy in town to spending
12 days listening to God teach her the secret language of messiahs
““ in a prose style completely devoid of nuance or
sophistication. Many of the actors in this production take full
advantage of the humor to be had in Heche’s often
unbelievable ramblings. Stephanie Markham, swathed in twinkle
lights, is particularly effective as both Heche and her infamous
other self, Celestia. Not every story in “Call Me
Crazy” is a gem; in fact, there are a few included in this
performance which could have easily been left out. But a show that
lasts only 80 minutes is certainly short enough as it is, and
definitely packs enough laughs to make it worthwhile. -Sommer
Mathis